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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Funky Town

I'm in a funk. I've been fighting it off for weeks, and some days I win, some days the funk wins. Like today. A day where I desperately just want to go hide in bed, and wake up sometime tomorrow. There is nothing special about today that makes it any harder than other days. I'm just losing my battle with the funk on this particular day. Maybe it's the fact that it's raining, maybe it's because my sleep schedule is screwed up.

When the funk hits on a weekend, I am lucky to be married to someone who most of the time, is understanding and lets me be dormant while I ride it out. Those days, giving in seems best. I hibernate away from everyone, and eventually, it passes. Days like today though, I can't do that. There are children to care for, a house to clean, life to live. Some days throwing myself into that life helps win the battle. After a few loaves of bread are baked, and the house is vacuumed, I feel like a new woman. Still feels weird to me to call myself a woman, I still don't feel old enough for that in some ways. In other ways, I feel old. Very, very old. I think that has to do with the fact that I've lived more life in my 28 years than some people go through in an entire lifetime.

Then there are other days, where throwing myself into the role of June Cleaver just seems to end up with me feeling even more overwhelmed. Those are the days, that no matter how hard I fight, the funk wins. I slip even further down the rabbit hole, which makes it even harder to get out.

I'm going to go clean up the dishes from lunch, and get some bread going, and hope for the best.

3 comments:

herself75 said...

I hope your spirits rise with the bread!

angi said...

((hugs))
I get that way sometimes too, mostly in the winter...and it is coming - BLECH!

Hope you feel better SOON :)

The Mrs. said...

Sending lots of (((HUGS))) your way.