About rugrats, minivans, The South, photography, farmer's markets, puberty, Army, snotty noses, blankies, movies, hugs, autism, make believe, homeschooling, sibling rivalry, car seats, weather, in-laws, scribbles, marriage, and somewhere in there, a stoned British reporter.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Midnight movie lessons

Things I have learned while watching a disaster movie less than, shall we say, sober.

1. Everyone should own a dog. Everyone. It should be a requirement. Why? Because when the poo hits the fan and the world is falling into another ice age or something, dogs always know when something is wrong when we stupid humans don't.

2. If possible, have Dennis Quaid around. Or Jake Gyllenhaal. Or thinking to other movies, in case of alien invasion, Will Smith would be a good choice.

3. The government is usually clueless until it's too late. So at the beginning, do the exact opposite of what they say.

4. The best way to survive a natural disaster is to not be on the planet. So we should all become astronauts, and ride it out on the space station. Except if the natural disaster is asteroids, and then, not so much.

5. If the birds are all flying away, it's time to GO.

6. Everyone should keep a set of tax law books around. You know, in case you need to burn them.

7. Never go back for your bag. Or anyone else's for that matter.

8. A disaster is a perfect time for love. If you've been waiting to make your move, during a disaster would be the time to act. Bowchickawowow.

1 comment:

Lorie said...

Hilarious! I miss your blogs! Any Christmas postcard pics yet? How has life been in Georgia?