Once again, the holiday spirit is elusive this year, so I am being proactive. I did my roaming up and down the holiday aisles thing again, just like last year. This year I did it about a week earlier though. Bought an advent calendar, and a nativity set. My goal is to get the house completely Christmas-ified, and start listening to tons of Christmas music. Maybe that will help. Holiday spirit by osmosis! (It didn't work last year, but maybe it will this year! No comments from the peanut gallery about the definition of insanity.)
Part of me is thinking it won't though. So much of my past Christmases were more about the people I was with, instead of the decorations. And with most of them gone now, that's a hard void to fill. I keep up what traditions I can, and we're trying to make new ones as a family. There are some of my Grandmother's Christmas decorations mixed in with the ones I have gotten as an adult. It's all still very surreal though. The holiday comes, we open presents, we do the traditions, and yet, it feels like a charade. Like it's not really Christmas.
Hopefully I can find my way soon, and fall back in love with what has always been my favorite holiday.