What you may not know about me, is that I am the Siskel and/or Ebert of Christmas lights. I ruthlessly judge the displays people have set up. I mostly keep my thoughts to myself, as I know in some cases, the people worked really hard. Here are some consistent thoughts I've had over the years:
-When it comes to inflatable lawn decorations, just say no.
-Same for the plastic ones.
-Along that same train of thought, I'm pretty sure Santa was not at the nativity.
-Pink is not really a Christmas color theme, and neither is purple, even if you match it with green.
-All blue, or all red, or all green, looks creepy. Just trust me, it does.
-A blue and white theme can look pretty, but keep in mind people might think you're Jewish. If you are Jewish, then cool, but if you're not, you might want to rethink that color scheme. Unless you're not Jewish but want people to think you are. If so, then, carry on.
-Those moving wire deer decorations creep me out too.
-You can never go wrong with an all white theme.
-Wait, I take that back, you can if you mix the blink factor.
-Either ALL your lights in a certain area (Like icicles along your roof) should blink together in a coordinated fashion, or none of them should blink. Trust me, just one random strand blinking somewhere, looks stupid.
-Same goes for the lights all blinking at different interval settings. Coordination is power!
-Less is not always more. Plugging one strand into the outlet next to your door, running it diagonally across the house until it reaches the gutter, and then having the last three feet or so strung along said gutter, is not decorating. When I see that, I wonder, why did you even bother? If you're going to do just one strand, do it around your front door. That's really the only thing that makes sense.
-More is not always good either. Do people need sunglasses to look at your house? If so, it might be too much.
That's it for this installment! Stay tuned, and I might be able to come up with some pictures for examples of what NOT to do.