About rugrats, minivans, The South, photography, farmer's markets, puberty, Army, snotty noses, blankies, movies, hugs, autism, make believe, homeschooling, sibling rivalry, car seats, weather, in-laws, scribbles, marriage, and somewhere in there, a stoned British reporter.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Hmm

I know I haven't written much lately. I just plain haven't felt like it. I've been in a funk too lately and that really doesn't help things. I've been really frustrated. I sit and wonder what I'm doing with my life. It's easy to feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile. Which I know is stupid to think. I have four beautiful children I'm raising, and I KNOW that's important. I KNOW that there aren't many things out there more worthwhile. There are some days it is just harder to see that.

Days like today, where the only adult I talked to was Lindsay's piano teacher for five minutes. I spent the rest of the day exhausted, and making feeble attempts to clean the house. I find myself wanting more out of life. Then I feel guilty, because I feel I have such great kids, and I don't even deserve them. So how can I ask for more when I already have more than I deserve?

I had more to write, but the sleep deprivation is making it hard to remember what it was. And Hannah dumped sugar on the table, so I should probably do something about that.

4 comments:

Jim said...

Hang in there! Only 15 more years!

:o)

I know, your dad is such a big help!

Anemone Pie said...

Can I pop Jim one for that, even if he is your dad? ;-)

Tara. said...

Stupid funks anyway! ((hugs))

StephLove said...

I know what you mean. Taking care of kids full-time is draining. I've been a working mom (the first 4 years) and a stay-at-home mom (next 4) and staying home has been harder, for me anyway. I am always fighting off a funk.