Ok, I promise this post will not contain anything about my uterus, lol! So it is safe for everyone.
This one is just a ramble about Logan. All my kids have talked late, so we didn't think much of it when Logan did the same. But then we started noticing something different about him. Where the other kids caught up pretty quickly, he. .. didn't. When confronted with my worry about it, people usually responded with things like "Oh, he's a boy, just give him time. Einstein didn't talk till he was three!" Which I wanted to be reassuring, I wanted it to ebb my worry. But it never did. Because deep down, my mommy instincts knew something wasn't right.
Finally, he turned three and still hadn't made any progress. So, we finally got him assessed by a speech therapist. At the appointment I told her my concerns and said I pegged him to be about 18-24 months with his speech. That turned out to be spot on, and she agreed with me that something was off with him. He has been in speech for about 2 months now and has made a lot of progress and I am really pleased. I love his therapist. But he still has a really long ways to go.
She put in a referral to have an occupational therapist assess him. Because like me, she had noticed other things that were different with Logan. But unlike most people, who tried to brush it off and tell me it was nothing, she agreed with me, and got something done about it. He had his OT assessment and he does qualify for that therapy, and they put in a referral to have a physical therapist look at him as well. There were things he is behind in that I haven't even noticed yet. So, the awesome news is that he is getting therapy at an awesome place. It's a small place, but the therapists are great advocates for the kids, and they really get stuff done. Which is the most important.
All of this though is leading up to a different appointment we are waiting for approval for from the Army medical insurance. One day I approached the therapist about an idea I had, and she agreed. There are times when I am thinking about Logan and the word "autism" floats in and out of my brain. She agreed that might be the case with him. So she put in a referral to have a developmental pediatrician look at him. That is the person that would make an official diagnosis.
On one hand, I am excited. I know a definitive diagnosis will open a lot of doors as far as getting him the help and resources he needs. On the other hand, I am trying to brace myself. I know that even when expected, the event of actually hearing your child *is* autistic can be a devastating experience. I know this because I watched an internet friend, Christine, go through it. Her blog is on my blogroll, "Holland Feels Like Hell". Her blog title has an explanation. Google the phrase and you will see what that is. I am comforted with her experience as well though, because I have seen how amazingly far her son has come with the help they have gotten him.
No matter what, Logan will still be my flirty sweet boy. Whatever is going on with him, is just a small part of him. Autism, or Asberger's, or whatever they label him as, will be just that. A label. It won't change who he is.
At the same time, it's never easy to hear something is wrong with your child. Even if it is something you suspected. . .